day 1: returning home

I came home today, back from university for two weeks of so called "vacation". I find coming home surprisingly easy from most viewpoints as it just means going back to an old setting I haven't quite turned away from yet but at the same time it can be very hard as I've spent 18 years with my family and created habits here that I am prone to falling back into, and I usually do. This time however I am going to try and make things different, I shall try to strike up better habits and keep the ones I have made in York. This includes reading the bible, actually doing some prayer each day and if possible waking up earlier.
And so here is my lesson for today: Keep moving on, the past is good to learn from but don't get trapped in it!

⁹ But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins. -2 Peter 1:9

Paul warns us that we should constantly be growing in the fruits of the Spirit, and if we don't then, well we are nearsighted and blind. "Surely though this is telling us that we must just be kind, loving, gentle, full of self control, it doesn't mean we can't keep old routines or fall back into them!" I hear you cry, but I would have to disagree. We are transformed when we accept the Holy Spirit, and yeah you might turn off now because you've heard all this before but I ask you don't. The Holy Spirit is a messenger sent by the Father Himself to govern in our lives and to help us choose those new habits and new routines that are better for us. No, I don't mean He does it all for us, that would make it too easy for us, but it does mean when we make that choice we are not alone, our own individual, but global, Personal Trainer is right next to us from that first step to make sure that each step goes to the right place! Now that's the amazing thing about God, He wants us to do better for ourselves so that we can do better for others and ultimately do better for Him. This however does not mean all we do is guided by God because occasionally we forget to add Him and His plans into what we do and so, to continue an analogy, we ditch the personal trainer and the gym and decide to try to get ourselves into shape with no help at all. This can produce good results, you can get into good habits, be healthy and grow into someone better but at the end of the day you're relying on you and so you're still being slightly selfish and it's never going to yield results as good as God could produce in you!

Sorry I'm failing my own expectations of keeping to a plan this time by whilst writing about not falling into old habits being really distractable again... in writing this I've checked facebook, wished two people happy birthday, played mahjong titans and left the room. I'm going to say this outright, when it comes to doing something I am a great failure. I rarely ever truly give something up to God, when I do I forget how much He has helped me and if I don't I fail to recognize the strength He gives me despite my failings. This brings me to a point I didn't think I'd make, God is a personal God. Yeah He loves us personally and we've heard it so many times it doesn't set our guts on fire anymore, heck I've been a Christian for a year and my belly's fire isn't on fire completely hearing it. BUT more than being a personal God who loves the people on the Earth each individually, He is wants to be so personal with you He a) asks you to make him the number one in your life and to be more intimate with him than your closest relation but b) He comes and uses the things you don't give Him for you, He loves you so much that when you hide something from Him or forget Him, He's there making sure that it works out best for you already.

So I'm sitting here on my bed writing this at 1:00 am in the morning with new things coming into my head all the time yet I can only really put one things to words:

Lord come bless this blog I am starting to write. Come give me your words and what you want the world to learn from this writing of mine. Let me speak to people from different lives, backgrounds and futures. Let them see your glory here and don't let Satan take this and use it for his purpose but banish him from my mind and writing. I should have done this at the beginning of this and will do from now on, so Lord, Father, Pops in the Sky help me remember you more, help me to add you in my life more often and help me to add you into others life more often, let me not shrink back from sharing my faith but be personalised, characterised by my faith. Thank you, Lord. Amen

Okay I lied, that wasn't the only thing I could put into words but it is what I wanted to and what felt right to have written then. That there is me turning over a new leaf in my commitments and hopefully in my sharing Jesus with the world! I hope you can look at those words and something does resonate with you. If it doesn't then perhaps this, that I forgot, might:

Lord, the fire in me is burning low, the fuel is running out and my passion is turning to complacency. Relight that fire, do not let me become complacent in following you, let me be constantly searching for you and let me be constantly excited about you! Please Lord do not let this mind that is ruled by flesh overpower my soul that is ruled by you, constantly take control in my life and constantly use me for your good in this world. Amen

 I apologize for the amount of "constantly"s in that short prayer but let's be honest we need to be doing a lot of things constantly to get anywhere near to possibly even being the tiniest bit of a less than good person. We are selfish beings at our center and it drives all the evil in our world that we cannot seek out other people, let alone our Creator who deserves to be sought out from our birth.
I digress though, God helps us establish new habits that are good for us throughout our life and he helps us nurture ones which will teach us lessons despite the fact they may fall away later.

I am the LORD, and there is no other; apart from me there is no God. I will strengthen you, though you have not acknowledged me. - Isaiah 45:5

He is the one and only, He is the strength of nature, of the leviathon and the bacterium, He doesn't need you to allow Him to do anything but it is wrong of us to think we could actually do anything on our own. Let God help bring new life to your failing commitments, maybe strike up those failed Lent plans again but this time daily tell God that you need Him and see how  long you can keep them this time!

That was long but I hope the message was there, I covered a lot when all I meant to talk about was not falling into old ruts but thanks for reading it all.

God Bless.